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MU Relationship Expert Gives Tips on Making Everyday Valentine's Day

Feb. 10, 2009

Story Contact:  Jeffrey Beeson, (573) 882-9144,

COLUMBIA, Mo. – As candy stores and flower shops prepare for last minute Valentine’s Day buyers, University of Missouri relationship expert Laurie Mintz offers suggestions on making this year a little more romantic.
 “Rather than giving flowers or candy, the best gift that you can give is the commitment to say something loving and appreciative to your partner every day; make every day Valentine’s Day,” said Mintz, associate professor of educational, school and counseling psychology in the MU College of Education. “People need to make every day a commitment to their relationship. You also need to touch each other affectionately every day.”

Mintz says expecting your partner to know what you want without you telling him or her is a sure-fire way to not get what you want. She suggests talking with your partner in order to form a good relationship and find out what your partner wants. 

“I would say communication is the bedrock of a good relationship. Communication is the key to a good everyday relationship, including a sexual relationship. You have to be able to talk about your relationship at the kitchen table like you would anything else.”

As economic and daily life pressures increase in a relationship, Mintz says it is even more important to have daily reminders of your commitment to your partner.

“So often in long-term relationships, the pressures of work, bills, kids and jobs occur. Sometimes, a couple ends up sharing the chores of life and actually forgets to appreciate each other every day and to touch each other affectionately every day. The best gift you can give is to not place so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day, but to place emphasis on your relationship every day of the year.”

Mintz is a licensed psychologist with expertise in personal and sexual relationships, body-image and eating disorders. She received her doctorate from Ohio State University in psychology. Mintz is an internationally known relationship expert having been quoted in newspapers in England, Australia, Ireland, India and many major U.S. publications.